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On building something that lasts

Be willing to let it all go. That’s the first step. It’s very hard at first, I know from experience. But it does get easier, or more accurately, you become more skilled at dying gracefully and being reborn. The truth is, the core of you has been unchanged and will remain unchanged, but you may not like the way the true you wishes to be expressed. You may find it awkward, too big or too small, and likely, when it’s really the spot that is calling forth your gifts, you may find it boring. The foundation of your life is not the place where you feel agitated. It does not keep you up at night or move you to doom scroll or mass text or email. The true foundation of your life does not stir adrenaline in you, or others. (Except when you being you stirs up projections and judgements in others, which is par for the course on the path of expression.) Sitting in your true foundation will probably feel like taking a nap, sitting on the earth, or drinking in the sound of a river. As I start my fourth year of slowly, tenderly, building a life from a deep place inside of me, I am so grateful for past me. She tried a lot of different things, almost gave up many times, but she kept feeling along the forest floor, taking each step that felt nourishing and true. Is it easeful? Is it joyful? Does it open my heart? Does it call upon my deepest gifts? These are the questions I followed.

 

And here's the kicker:

 

What is yours to do in this lifetime will break you open, again, and again, and again. That is a part of how I'm learning my inner landscape. I move towards softening, towards allowing, and towards expanding.

 

In this journey the earth has been my teacher. There's no question I've had that a tree cannot support me to answer. Deepen. Widen. Move towards opportunity. Coordinate. Change. Repeat.

 

Your nature is reflected in nature. Go there to remember. You may find something you thought you forgot, but a part of you knew all along.


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