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a letter from the cauldron

I was going to title this a letter from the void. The beautiful space when more is unraveling than coming together. But this is not a void. It is an active, teeming, broiling pot of mystery. So, I write to you, a letter from the cauldron.


People often share insights after they’ve gone through a transformation. They go through a dark period, rummage around, slowly picking up pieces and emerge with a story to tell. I’m writing to you from inside the dark and the disorientation. A lot has fallen apart, and I am slowly gathering the pieces. But there's no story to tell, no declaration to make. I would say that I'm gathering answers, but also that my very concept of what an answer is has fallen away. The only "answer" I find now is... to sit inside the undoing, the active allowing, and give space for a deep restoration of my own peace and freedom to myself.

Why am I in a roiling, boiling pot of primordial swirling stew? I’ve stepped away from the lifepath that I clearly set myself on at age 22, moving to the Bay, dreaming of working in economic justice and public policy. I thought I’d live a life where I slowly and steadily climbed towards… something. A position, a marriage, a resume, a bank account. Over the years I dressed up my vision with some slightly alternative accolades - become the best life coach! build the best burning man camp! organize the biggest wealth redistribution pledge ever! But the underlying energy, that my life will amount to something when I get somewhere, was the same.

For many reasons, my ideas of where life would take me didn’t work out. That is a blessing. Because they are just that. Ideas. And sometimes, life grants us a blessing by falling apart so we can see what is real and what is illusion. So now, I'm climbing the ladder down. Beyond the layer of ideas about life, and into what life is really like. Down, down, inwards, and down. In the silence, space, and peace that only I can afford myself. To get to know what is really inside of me, and to create my life from that place.

What is mine to do in this life is to be tethered to reality. Not to an idea of what is real. But to what is actually real. To let life unfold through me, to trust that what is wanting to happen through me will happen, and that it will be more brilliant than any idea my mind could come up with.

This is the time of coming home. A deeper home than I've ever been present to, inside of myself. I often imagine my tendrils of energy that I’ve flung out across the earth, left in places, with people, parked in ideas and fantasies, swirling it all back to me. It takes time, it needs to cover distance. So now, I make space, humbly and with reverence, for each piece to find its way home. All the ways I haven’t been present get to come back to me, making a home here, with me. I make the space day by day. And with that my capacity to hold myself grows, more becomes possible.

Coming home is filled with gentle joy, a soft acceptance of exactly what is right now, while easefully making space for more to come through. More of my energy, more of my aliveness, more of my power. It’s all on its way, with no force or timeline.

So, from inside the cauldron, I write to you happily. I have no expectation of getting anywhere anytime soon.


In this time, blessings come floating through me often. This flowed through and out last month. Take what lands and leave the rest:

May you allow yourself to set down the things in your life that you’ve taken up for reasons that no longer matter.

May you remember that you may come back to them at any point, if it’s really true to do so.

There’s nothing wrong with them or with you for having attached yourself to them or for needing to put them down.

And nevertheless, may you find the courage and strength to set them down.

Yes. Now. Now is the time. Set down the duties, obligations, habits, patterns, relationships, dreams, and identities, give yourself the space to be with all that is revealed.

I hope you look upon yourself with kindness and with curiosity as you see why you picked these things up in the first place.

May you rest in the space you’ve created and feel how loving it is to be here.

Just here, sitting in the space, the sacred emptiness, allowing something new to unfold. Remember your animal body. And rest.

Thank you for being you. You do it so well.

With love,

Lisa

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